Where the Heart is (Interracial with Baby) (BWWM) Page 7

  But then Simon and Matthew breezed through the door, each carrying two covered dishes and looking windswept.

  "Jamie, it's so good to see you. The house looks beautiful, Adelaide," Matthew said, letting Jamie take his dishes and leaning in to kiss Adelaide on the cheek. "Thank you so much for having us."

  "Oh, it's completely my pleasure, Matt. I've missed doing this so much."

  While their parents talked, Jamie moved over to Simon. He looked amazing in a red button down shirt and pressed black pants, and when he smiled at her with heat in his eyes, she had to hope that she looked half as nice in her gold dress.

  "You look beautiful. Much prettier than the house," Simon said. He glanced over to make sure the parents were sufficiently distracted and then leaned down to kiss her. "Good grief, have you been chugging straight from a bottle?" he asked, amused.

  Jamie rolled her eyes. "No. Idiot. It's mom's punch." She offered him the glass, and his eyebrows disappeared into his hair when he caught a whiff of how strong it was.

  "I'll take some of that, if it's on offer," he said, grinning.

  "Come on."

  She took him through to the the kitchen and poured him a glass of the punch before finishing off her own. "May as well take this out anyway. Do me a favor and help me keep an eye on Mom? She's only supposed to have one glass of this stuff, and not even that. But I wouldn't put it past her to try and be sneaky about it."

  Simon laughed, sipping his drink. "Will do. And Dad doesn't drink anymore, so he'll at least be sober enough to pay attention. Probably more than me." And he winked at her and drank more.

  "You're so useless," Jamie teased, leaning up for another kiss before they went back out.

  Soon enough the small house was filled with the smells of food. Jamie had gotten a ham and a roast chicken catered, along with asparagus and potatoes and Simon and Matthew had brought mac and cheese, fresh rolls, green bean casserole and a cake with them.

  There was so much to eat, and Jamie filled her plate up, pouring gravy over the meat and dipping her bread in it, relaxing and just letting everything wash over her. Her mother had started playing Christmas music on the radio, so the low sounds of carols were welcome background noise as they ate and chattered to each other.

  Simon was sitting next to her, and he kept whispering jokes in her ear, making her laugh as she refilled her glass from the punch pitcher again and again. Eventually, Simon pressed a glass of water into her hand and she drank that.

  It was a good time. Her mother looked radiant in her red dress, and she hadn't stopped smiling all day.

  "You know," Adelaide said suddenly. "I used to think that we'd be having dinner like this for a different reason."

  Jamie's head snapped up, and she already knew that this was going to be the part of the dinner where things got awkward. She and Simon exchanged glances and she sighed. "What do you mean, Mom?"

  "Oh, you know. You and Simon were always so close as children."

  "And teenagers," Matthew pointed out. "Couldn't pry one of you away from the other."

  "Do you remember the first time Jamie had to go to the dentist so she had to miss school?" Adelaide asked, grinning.

  Matthew laughed. "Yes. And Simon cried for an hour straight because I told him he couldn't go with her."

  "I was like six, Dad, and I spent all my time with her. Of course I cried."

  "Aww," Jamie teased. "I didn't know I meant that much to you."

  "Oh, but what about the time when they both ate all the cupcakes you had made for that bake sale." Matthew said. "And then were sick for a day. I never did find out why you two thought that was a good idea."

  They exchanged glances and then burst out laughing. "Because we had a bet," Jamie explained. "To see who could eat the most."

  "And neither of us wanted to back down."

  The stories started flying then. Some of them were things Jamie had forgotten about like the time Simon climbed the tree behind the house and got stuck but was too proud to ask for help so he stayed up there until Matthew had to come and get him.

  Both Adelaide and Matthew seemed to have an endless supply of stories about what rambunctious and mischievous kids they had been, and with the punch and the good humor, Jamie spent most of the time cracking up.

  She had lost count of how many times she had topped off her glass with the punch, but it was looking dangerously empty, so she poured more in, shaking her head as her mother detailed the time when she'd tried to hide Simon in her closet so he wouldn't have to go home.

  "Always so inseparable," Adelaide said fondly. "I think that's why everyone's been so abuzz about Simon being back and you two being out and about together. Because it's a sight that no one has seen in years."

  That made some of the good humor melt a little bit, and Jamie looked into her glass with a sigh. At her side, Simon took her hand and squeezed it, and she gave him a tiny smile.

  "Everyone always commented on how strange it was to see her on her own," Simon's father said. "I always told them that Simon was probably just as strange looking where he was even though no one there would know that he was missing his other half."

  The words 'other half' made Jamie have to blink against the sudden stinging in her eyes. She was not going to cry at the middle of the table on Christmas. That was too pathetic, and anyway, she'd had plenty of time to get used to the fact that she wasn't actually going to be Simon's other half. Maybe they could go back to being friends now that they had seen each other, but that was it. There wasn't going to be anything more. How could there be when their lives were so different.

  "I managed," Simon said softly.

  "Yeah, we all know that," Jamie muttered under her breath.

  Adelaide smiled at them both. "You know, I always did think that you two would end up together. I imagined us all sitting around the table like this but as a family. You never really gave anyone else a chance, so it made sense to think that you'd end up married."

  "I always thought that, too," Matthew said.

  "You guys are silly," Jamie replied, putting her glass down. "Just because we were inseparable as kids doesn't mean we have to be as adults. And I mean, look at how different we are now. Simon's a big city guy who's on his way to having a fancy title in front of his name, and I'm doing things here. Good things. I'm happy with what I've got."

  It sounded weak to her own ears, and suddenly she needed some air. Or just. Not to be sitting there with them all looking at her. "Would you excuse me?" she asked with a forced laugh. "Mom's punch is working its way through me."

  Without waiting for a response, she got up and made her way to the back of the house, practically flinging the door to the bathroom open and locking herself inside.

  Not caring whether she wrinkled her dress or not, she slid down to the floor with her back against the cold porcelain of the bathtub. Her heart hurt, and she could tell from the stuffy feeling in her head and chest that she was going to cry.

  She hated crying, and she especially hated crying over this, but what else was there. How could she sit there and listen to her mother and Simon's father go on and on about how they had been practically picking out wedding china for them when they were teenagers when there was no way that was ever going to happen.

  Simon didn't need her anymore. The six year old boy who had cried at the thought of being separated from her for a whole school day was gone, and in his place was a man who had gone seven years without speaking to her once.

  Jamie didn't have to guess that she wouldn't really fit in with his new lifestyle, even if she somehow ended up moving to the city.

  They were just too different now, weren't they?

  Thinking anything else was just a recipe for heartbreak and she couldn't go through that again.

  To her horror, she realized that the threat of tears had become a reality and she covered her face with her hands, sparing a thought to be glad that she hadn't put on any makeup so it wouldn't be running right now.

  She'd have
to explain why her eyes were red and puffy when she went back out there, but she'd think of something. Anything so that they didn't know that this still hurt as much as it did.

  She was supposed to be over this already, not sitting in the bathroom of her mother's house crying on Christmas like she was eighteen years old all over again and she knew Simon wasn't coming home for the holidays.

  But maybe she'd never stopped being that girl. Maybe she would always be that girl.

  Jamie cried harder.

  Chapter 9: Under the Mistletoe

  Simon wasn't stupid. It had been at least ten minutes since Jamie had gone to the bathroom, and she was either upset or throwing up from the sheer amount of punch that she'd had over the course of the meal.

  It seemed like neither of their parents had noticed yet, both of them wrapped up in telling stories and making each other laugh, and Simon shook his head, getting to his feet unsteadily.

  He wobbled a bit as he walked away from the table and then wrinkled his nose. Maybe he'd had a bit too much to drink as well, then.

  Hm.

  Either way, he needed to make sure that Jamie was alright. It didn't take a genius to see that the conversation they'd been having had upset her, and he couldn't say it hadn't made him a little upset, too.

  The way their parents had just talked so casually about how they'd assumed that the two of them would be spending their lives together was insane, and it was definitely something he hadn't expected. But judging from the way the town had reacted to him being back and seeing the two of them out and about together, it was clear that other people felt the same way.

  He didn't think Jamie felt that way, judging from the surprise that had been on her face, but it was clear that she had some kind of feelings regarding the whole thing.

  The bathroom door was locked when he got there, but Simon had been to this house plenty of times when he was a kid, and he knew how to pick that lock already. He fished in his pocket for his wallet, and one credit card shimmy later, the door clicked open.

  Jamie was sitting on the floor with her face in her hands, shoulders shaking, and Simon felt his heart sink. He had always hated seeing her cry.

  She was one of the strongest people he knew most of the time, not showing any weakness to other people, but when she cried, she always looked small and fragile, and Simon rarely had any idea how to handle it.

  "Hey," he said, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. It was chilly inside, and he knew Jamie had to be cold sitting on the tiled floor with her back to the bathtub. But she was clearly having bigger issues that just being cold at the moment, and so Simon squatted down next to her stroking her hair lightly. "What's up, huh?" he asked.

  Her chuckle sounded watery and weak. "Oh, you know. Just sitting in my mother's bathroom, crying on Christmas like an idiot," she mumbled, not lifting her face.

  "You're not an idiot. And if you think you're the only one crying on Christmas, I've got news for you. The holidays are the number one time for depressive episodes."

  She snorted. "You really do know how to cheer a girl up, Simon Blake. Lovely bedside manner."

  Simon rolled his eyes, but if she still had the means to be sarcastic at him, then she was probably going to be okay. "Shut up. You want to tell me what's wrong? Because I have a pretty good idea, but I don't want to start rambling off on it if that's not actually what's bothering you."

  "It's just... I didn't know everyone expected us to get married like that," Jamie said finally. "I didn't know everyone thought we were supposed to be an item. We always said that we weren't going to date each other, remember?"

  "Yeah, I remember." And he did. They'd had a very serious conversation about it. Jamie had always seemed to know that Simon wanted more than this town could offer him, so they'd said that they would just be friends who sometimes slept together because that was easier. So when he left finally, they wouldn't have to try to balance being friends long distance and being in a relationship, too.

  And Simon had failed at the being friends part, so he could only imagine how terrible he would have been at the rest of it.

  "Jamie," he said softly. "I know you think that..." No, wait. Telling her that she thought she wasn't good enough for him was not the way to go here. He sighed and tried it again. "Jamie, you could do anything you wanted, you know that, right? You could do anything and have anyone. Being with me would be like... settling for less. And I mean, maybe when we were sixteen the idea of us getting married would have been less ridiculous, but I think..."

  "I know what you think," she said, looking up finally. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy and her cheeks were wet. "You think that we're too different now, and you're right. We are. I never said I wanted to marry you, so don't come in here like you're trying to let me down easily."

  Simon blinked. That hadn't been his intention, but he'd been making all the wrong moves lately. "Jamie, that's not... All I'm saying is that you won't be here forever. And when you get out and see stuff you'll see how awesome you are."

  That sounded better to him, but the way Jamie narrowed her eyes made it clear that he was putting his foot in his mouth again.

  "When I make it out of here, it'll only be because my mother is dead," she snapped. "We've been over this, Simon. I'm not here for my own good. I'm here for hers."

  God, he was just not doing well tonight at all. This was one of the reasons why he didn't drink all that often. At least not when other people were around for him to offend.

  "I'm sorry," he said. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot about this, and I keep saying stuff that's terrible, and I don't... Sometimes being around you is so easy. Sometimes it's effortless. Like it used to be. But sometimes it's the hardest thing because I don't know who we are to each other anymore, and I keep trying to fall back on the way we used to be, but that's not right because it doesn't always work right if we're different, and I just don't know what I'm doing."

  Jamie blinked at him, and he realized that he'd said all that in a rush of breath. "I'm never drinking again," he groaned.

  She giggled and leaned into him a bit. "You say that now, but I bet you're gonna drink on New Years and when you get back to your fancy apartment in the city, you'll drink your fancy wine coolers or whatever it is you fancy big city fellas drink when you need a pick me up."

  Now Simon was giggling as he pushed at her shoulder. "You're ridiculous, you know that? C'mere." He pulled her closer to him, moving to sit down on the floor and shivering when the cold from the tiles seeped through his pants.

  Jamie ended up in his lap, straddling him with her dress hiked up around her hips. Her arms went around his neck, and he didn't even have to say anything before she was kissing him, leaning in and claiming his mouth with hers.

  Suddenly, it didn't matter that they were in her mother's bathroom and that both of their parents were sitting out in the living room chatting and laughing. All that mattered was that Jamie seemed to need him. She was kissing him hot and hard, leaning in and rubbing against him.

  He didn't know what had come over her, and he didn't much care, not when the way she was moving had him going hard under her and he wanted nothing more than to peel that dress off of her and take everything she had to offer.

  "Gonna have to be quiet," he murmured, laughing a little when she smiled at him.

  "Yeah," she breathed back. "We could turn the shower on."

  Simon smirked. "Or just get in the shower altogether."

  Jamie's eyes danced wickedly, and even though they were still bloodshot and puffy from crying, she looked happier than she had before. "You think they'll notice?"

  He shrugged. "Maybe. They apparently approve, though, so what's the point in not doing it?" It made sense in his alcohol soaked brain, so when Jamie got up and offered him her hand, he took it, letting her pull him to his feet.

  They wobbled and ended up against the wall next to the shower, and Simon leaned in to kiss her again, pinning her in place while he practically
devoured her with his lips.

  He kissed a hot trail from her mouth to her neck, groaning at the taste of her skin.

  He wanted her. There was no doubt about that. He wanted her moaning for him, telling him how good he made her feel, as if he could somehow make up for all the pain he had caused her in the past by giving her as much pleasure as possible.

  It was an absurd thought, but he wanted try anyway.

  Her hands were already moving to undo his belt and zipper, fingers slipping into his pants to stroke his growing hardness through the fabric of his boxers.

  She kissed him harder, swallowing his moan and biting down on his lower lip. He didn't know why she was so eager, and he didn't much care. Pushing into her hand and getting his own hands involved, stroking and claiming, lifting the skirt of her dress up so he could get his fingers in her underwear.

  Her gasp against his mouth was delicious, and he smiled, pressing his fingers right into that little bundle of sensitive nerves and stroking, feeling gratified by the surge of wetness between her legs.

  "If we don't move this along, we're gonna end up finishing right here," she whispered, and Simon grinned at her.

  "What if we finish right here and then in there, too."

  Jamie rolled her eyes. "I don't think we have that kind of time, Simon. They're bound to notice what we're gone eventually, and I don't know about you, but I don't really want to explain to my mom what we were doing in here."

  "Okay, good point. In, then." He leaned over and started the shower going, and they both paused to listen and see if they could hear anything from the other room. There were no immediate noises, so they kept moving, letting the water heat up while they stripped each other of their fancy clothes.

  "You looked so good in that," Jamie murmured, putting his clothes on the counter so they wouldn't get wet.

  "I was hoping you'd like it," Simon admitted. "I knew you were going to be stunning, and I had to keep up with you." He wrapped his arms around her waist and hauled her into the shower with him, laughing when she yelped softly at the hot water on her skin.