Where the Heart is (Interracial with Baby) (BWWM) Read online

  "Nope. She didn't even call to tell me where she was moving to. I guess she thinks I knew about the affair or whatever, I don't know."

  His father sighed. "The whole thing was a mess. And... I haven't wanted to say this because I don't think it's productive to drag up the past relentlessly, but you're a man now, so I'm going to say it. I was very hurt when you just cut me out of your life."

  Simon swallowed hard. "Yeah, well. I was very hurt when your marriage started falling apart and you guys put me in the middle."

  "How did we put you in the middle?"

  He dropped the book he'd been about to pack and looked at his father incredulously. "Are you kidding me right now? Every other day one of you was calling me to complain about the other. Mom called me in the middle of the night to talk about how she was sure that you weren't really handling an emergency call, you were going off to meet some hussy or something. And you would call me to talk about what I thought you should do. I was eighteen! How in the world would I have known what you should do?"

  Matthew looked away. "Alright, that's fair. I... I didn't want to lose you, too, Simon, alright? I had no way of knowing what your mother was saying to you or if she was trying to make you hate me or what. I just wanted to make sure you knew the truth."

  "I already knew the truth, Dad. Do you really think I believed that you were sneaking out of the house to meet up with your secret lover?"

  His father had to smile at that. "No, I suppose you wouldn't have. And I do understand that things were hard for you. You were away from home and in school and your mother and I did not make things any easier for you. I've just missed you. You're my son."

  "I know, Dad," Simon murmured. And he did know. He knew that Jamie wasn't the only person he had hurt with his silence, and he supposed that now was the time when he was supposed to be making up for all of it. He'd come back, come home, and he could start over if he really wanted to. Do better when it came to making sure that these people knew that they mattered to him.

  "Enough of that," Matthew said, getting to his feet and wiping his hands on his jeans. "I'm starving. What do you say to ordering some pizza?"

  Simon grinned, and his stomach rumbled loudly. "I say that sounds good. Does Gino's still put pineapple on everything whether you order it or not?"

  "Yep. Unless you complain about it, and then they put anchovies on it."

  He laughed. "That's disgusting. Pepperoni and bacon?"

  "Of course."

  From there it was easier. He had always gotten along with his father and it was nice to be reminded of that. Matthew had been the one who supported his dream of being a doctor and going to a school that would be more expensive, but ultimately more rewarding.

  Apparently all they had really needed was a way to clear the air between them to make things better, and now that it had happened, the familiar air of camaraderie had returned.

  They ate pizza and talked about Simon's classes and the people at the hospital where he was working, and in general it was a very nice way to pass an afternoon.

  "So," Matthew said, once the pizza box was empty. "I'm sure Jamie was happy to see you."

  The way he said it was laden with suggestion, and Simon made a face. "Not really. She came pretty close to punching me in the face, actually. And she cried."

  "Well, I don't think you can blame her for that. She loved you and you were just gone. What are you planning to do about it?"

  Simon blinked. "What?"

  "What?" Matthew echoed. "You knew that. That she loved you."

  "No, I didn't. I mean. As a friend, yeah. I love her the same way, but that's all. We were always really careful not to get tangled up in relationship stuff."

  His father arched an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Well, I hate to break it to you, son, but I've seen the way that girl looks at you, and she's been in love with you since you were about fourteen years old. I thought that you cutting everyone off would change it, but there's already rumors flying about how the two of you were out and about yesterday."

  "I forgot how bad people are around here for being in everyone else business," Simon muttered, raking a hand through his hair. "And for the record, Dad, I really don't think Jamie's in love with me."

  Matthew just smiled. "Whatever you say, Simon. Do you want to start on the kitchen while I finish up in here?"

  Simon nodded and took a box, moving into the kitchen with his brow furrowed. He'd know, right? If Jamie was in love with him? Maybe she had been when they were teenagers and he'd just been too stupid to notice it, but there was no way that she still had feelings for him now after what he had done, right? She'd have to be like the most forgiving person in the world for that to be the case.

  And yet.

  And yet they had ended up in bed together only a few hours after she had gotten done telling him how horrible he was. Apparently they just couldn't stay away from each other, even after seven years of separation.

  Of course there was also the fact that being in bed with her had felt more right than anything else. Simon hadn't really slept around when he was in school, but he'd had a few flings, and none of them had been as good as that one night with Jamie. Maybe it was all nostalgia. Maybe he was making things seem like they were better than they were or had been. He didn't know. But either way, after the holidays, he was going to have to go back to his life and his job, and he didn't think it was going to be that easy to do this time.

  The image of Jamie, flushed and sweaty from sex, sitting astride his hips like she was some kind of queen, flashed through his mind, and the sheer longing that rose up inside of him was startling.

  Maybe it didn't matter if Jamie was in love with him when there were definitely certain parts of Jamie that Simon was in love with.

  Why did everything have to be so complicated?

  He sighed and turned his attention to the dishes and everything. Matthew was going to be taking most of those with him, but the appliances and furnishings would be staying behind. In an effort to try and get him to move in, he already knew.

  It was a good deal, actually. The house was already paid for and all he would need to handle was the utilities and upkeep, which would probably be around the same price as what he was paying for rent and utilities combined at his apartment.

  It wasn't that he had written the idea off completely, either. One day he could see himself here, but it would have to be with a fresh start. A new family.

  This was the house where his old family had died and been buried just about, so he was going to need some new memories.

  Of course, as soon as he thought that, the image of Jamie, hair messy and feet bare, standing in his kitchen with her hands on her hips as she asked when dinner would be ready popped into his mind and he had to shake his head vigorously to get it out.

  Because it wasn't such a bad picture when he looked at it like that.

  But it was impossible. They both had things they wanted and maybe they were on each other's lists now, but that didn't mean that it was going to stay like that.

  Simon worked steadily through the afternoon and early evening, helping his dad pack up all of the house's front rooms. Boxes were everywhere, and Matthew had begin sorting them into piles according to if they were going to his new apartment or if they were going into the attic for storage.

  It was weird seeing so much of his childhood and teenage years packed away like that, and he could understand why his father looked so sad.

  His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he tugged it out, smiling to see a text from Jamie.

  You wanna do something tonight?

  He did.

  "So, are you heading over to the new place tonight, Dad?" Simon asked his father, stretching and relishing the cracking of bones in his back. It had been a while since he'd done so much heavy lifting in one day before, and he knew his muscles were going to be protesting later.

  "I think so, yes. I think if we keep working at this pace we can be done before Christmas, but I know you might have things you wa
nt to do."

  "What are we doing for Christmas anyway?" Seven years had gone by since the last time he'd had Christmas dinner with his father, and he could only imagine how depressing it would be for it just to be the two of them after the massive dinners they used to have with his family and Jamie and her mother.

  Something occurred to him, then, and he grinned. "Actually, Dad, what do you think of another joint Christmas? Like we used to do before everything went to crap? I know it's just going to be Jamie and her mom at their house, and Jamie said something about how she was having dinner catered for the two of them. We could make some stuff to take over there, and then maybe it wouldn't be so quiet."

  Matthew smiled. "I like that idea. Your mother was half convinced that I was having an affair with Adelaide after you left, so the dinners stopped, but it also wouldn't have been the same without you. Do you want to call Jamie and ask her about it and then let me know?"

  "Sure thing." Simon started pulling on his coat and gloves, preparing to brave the frigid air once more. "I'm meeting her for dinner anyway, so I'll text you."

  His dad smirked at him. "Should I be expecting you either here or at the apartment tonight?"

  Simon already knew his response to that was going to be to blush hard, so when the rush of heat hit his face, he just turned away, pretending like he needed to fix his coat. "No, probably not. But I've got keys to both places either way."

  "That you do. Then I'll see you tomorrow."

  His father hugged him and headed to his car with the boxes he was taking with him, leaving Simon standing in the entry way of the house with the cold wind soothing the heat in his cheeks.

  "You're being an idiot," he mumbled under his breath. With a shake of his head, he closed the door behind him and got into his car, heading towards The Pit to meet Jamie.

  They had both decided that it was much too cold to eat in their usual spot, and there were still more people who wanted to fuss over Simon's return, so The Pit it was.

  "Plus," Jamie said, grinning when he walked into the diner some fifteen minutes later. "The closer it gets to Christmas the more random dinner items appear on the menu. Like tonight it's chicken and dressing, and you know I can't turn down chicken and dressing."

  Simon did know that, and he laughed and settled in before explaining to her about his idea for Christmas.

  Jamie's eyes lit up and she nodded eagerly. "Oh, man. Mom would love that. I know she missed having bigger dinners when you left, and she never knew what was going on with your parents. Which is impressive since most people in this town know everything."

  "My dad went out of his way to make sure no one would know," Simon explained.

  "Makes sense."

  They ate their meals along with massive slices of apple pie and discussed the menu for Christmas dinner, and Simon was struck all over again by how much this place could seem like home sometimes.

  Chapter 8: The Joy of Christmas

  Christmas Day was bitterly cold, but the sun was shining, illuminating the snow that had fallen in the night.

  Jamie woke up in her bed, draped over the warmth of Simon with a blanket pulled up over her head. She already knew her hair was a mess and that she had probably drooled a little in the night, but she was so comfortable she didn't want to move. Unfortunately, she still had to go pick up the food for dinner and get dressed and then help her mother with everything.

  She poked her head out of the tangle of blankets to see that Simon was already awake. He was texting and when her head appeared, he grinned down at her.

  "I was worried you were going to suffocate down there," he said.

  "Nope. No suffocation here, doctor. What time is it?"

  "Quarter after nine," Simon replied, smothering a yawn with one hand. "I told Dad I would be over at eleven to help him start cooking for everything, and he says we should be at your mom's house by six."

  Jamie nodded, stretching before rolling over to flop onto her back. "Okay that sounds good. I've gotta go over to mom's soon anyway and help her get the last of the decorations and stuff up. She's going a little overboard, but she's so happy about this that I'm not going to try and stop her."

  Overboard was an understatement.

  When Jamie had told her the plan for Christmas, her mother's entire face had lit up. She'd looked so excited at the prospect of a Christmas where it was more than just the two of them, and immediately had asked Jamie to help her get the decorations up from the basement.

  It had taken a combination of Jamie and the afternoon nurse to keep Adelaide in her seat so they could take turns bringing things up while her mother kept leaping up and saying she wanted lights everywhere.

  Jamie honestly didn't mind that she was about to spend the next few hours decorating only to have to take it all back down again. Having her mother be excited about something like this made her happy, and the joy on Adelaide's face took years off and made her look less weary.

  So she was going to drag herself out of the warmth of the bed, grab a shower (because there was no reason for her mother to have to deal with her smelling like sex), and then head over to get the festivities started.

  "Merry Christmas, by the way," Simon said, leaning over to kiss her on the lips.

  "Merry Christmas," Jamie replied with a grin. "I don't think my mom has been this excited for a Christmas in years."

  "Well, I'm glad we can help, then. She deserves a good Christmas. So do you."

  Jamie rolled her eyes and sat up. "And enter Simon Blake, the handsome and charming hero to bring Christmas joy to the poor townspeople." She fluttered her eyelashes ridiculously. "How can we ever repay you, handsome hero?"

  You forgot charming, and I can think of a couple of ways that you in particular can repay me."

  She smirked. "I'm sure you can. Unfortunately for you, I have to go get in the shower right now."

  Simon arched and eyebrow and pulled her closer before she could get up. "Fortunately for both of us, I'm also the hero of water conservation."

  They were both laughing as they headed to the shower together.

  An hour later, after finally kicking Simon out of her apartment, Jamie was pulling up in front of her mother's house. She was surprised to see Sal there already, on a ladder, stringing lights on the edges of the roof. When he saw her, he waved with a brilliant grin.

  "Morning, Jamie girl!"

  "Morning, Sal," she called back. "What are you doing here?"

  "Came by to wish your mother a Merry Christmas and drop off some of my Christmas cookies for her and she asked if I would help. I can never say no to a woman in need."

  Jamie snorted and shook her head. "Well, make sure you don't break your neck. That would put a damper on the Christmas spirit."

  Sal's booming laugh followed her into the house, and Jamie unwound her scarf and took her coat off, hanging them in the closet before heading in search of her mother.

  She found her in the kitchen, stirring a violently red liquid in a massive pitcher. "Christmas punch!" Adelaide said before Jamie could as. "My mother's recipe."

  "Was Grandma always drunk?" Jamie asked. She could smell the alcohol from the doorway. "That stuff smells like it could take the paint off the walls."

  Adelaide laughed. "It's strong, alright. I've been instructed that I can have no more than one glass today, so I thought I should make it count."

  "I'm pretty sure one glass with the alcohol content of six glasses is still over the limit, Mom," Jamie put in mildly.

  Her mother waved her hand dismissively. "Don't worry about me, Jamie, my dear. I am going to be just fine. Oh, this is going to be so nice. When are you picking up the food?"

  "At four," Jamie replied. "Simon said he and Matthew will be here around six. We'll have to keep everything warm until then."

  Declaring her punch done, Adelaide put the lid on the pitcher and put it into the refrigerator. "Shouldn't be a problem at all," she said, smiling. A coy look stole over her face then, and Jamie was already wary. "You saw
Simon this morning, then?"

  "Mom," Jamie said, trying to put as much warning as she could into her voice.

  "I'm just asking," Adelaide insisted. "Did you meet for breakfast? Have a nice cup of coffee?" Her innocent expression and tone were not fooling Jamie.

  "Mom. Do you really want to discuss this? Is this really a discussion you want to have right now?"

  "A discussion about whether or not my daughter is happy? Of course I want to have that discussion. Are you? Happy?"

  Jamie sighed. "I guess. It's not going to last, Mom. He's gonna go back to his life and then things will go right back to being the way they were before he got here. Everyone knows that." She tried to keep her voice light as she said it, but she wasn't entirely sure that she'd succeeded.

  "Maybe he won't," Adelaide returned. "Maybe he'll realize what he feels for you."

  "No, Mom. That's not going to happen. And it's fine. He has his own life and goals and stuff and I have mine. That's the way it's supposed to be."

  Her mother frowned at her, but Jamie avoided the look, instead moving over to the tin of cookies that Sal brought over every year. They were always massive and delicious, an assortment of shapes and flavors, and Jamie busied herself with trying one of each and then going to start decorating the tree in the living room, avoiding her mother's knowing gaze.

  By the time Simon and his father arrived, the house had been transformed. It was dark outside, and Sal's hard work had the house sparkling with light. A wreath was on the door, and the living room was hung with lights and garland. The Christmas tree presided over the room, decorated with more soft lights and candy canes, and the food was on the table that had been moved in since the kitchen was not big enough (or festive enough) for all of them.

  The lights were low, and Jamie was already cradling a glass of her mother's punch, which was spicy and definitely making her eyes water from how boozy it was.

  For some reason, she was nervous. It had been years since they'd done a get together like this, and the last time it had happened, she'd been much younger. But now there was history and drama and all that in the background, and her stomach wouldn't stop churning.