Where the Heart is (Interracial with Baby) (BWWM) Page 3

  It had become something of a nervous habit, although blaming it on the nature of his job was the perfect way to cover that up.

  No doubt his family would comment on the fact that he'd lost weight and that he looked like he hadn't been sleeping well, and he held back a groan at the thought of it.

  But this wasn't the place to go to pieces. Not when the end of his shift was close enough that if he hurried, he could be out before the sun went down. There was a new Chinese place just down the block, and he could pick up a massive order of food and let it keep him company while he tried to pack and get everything ready.

  Having a plan always made him feel better, so Simon took a fortifying breath and let himself out of the bathroom, striding down the hall with purpose.

  He flirted with the elderly women because it made them much more likely to do what was best for them, he charmed the children with smiles and promises that they would be well enough to play soon, and he leveled with the people his own age who just wanted answers.

  One of the things that made him so popular was his bedside manner, and he knew how to change up his approach depending on who he was talking to. It put most people at ease, knowing that he was there, and he liked that a lot.

  By six, he was finished for the night and for the year, actually, considering it would be after New Years when he came back to work. He took his time saying goodbye to everyone, wishing them happy holidays and accepting well wishes back. One of the nurses who clearly had a thing for him pressed a candy cane into his hand on his way out, and when Simon looked down at it, he saw that it was tied with a green ribbon that she'd written her phone number on in Sharpie.

  Shaking his head, he went to his car.

  Half an hour later, he was laden down with delicious smelling bags from China Palace, and he made his way to the elevator in his building, taking it to the fifth floor where he lived.

  This was a far cry from the house he'd grown up in, smaller and much more modern, and it felt right to be here.

  Simon still remembered the feeling of rightness that had washed over him as soon as he'd come to the city. Everything was big and bright, and though it was a lot to deal with for a small town boy with big dreams, he'd loved it all instantly.

  His apartment was in a ten storey building with a great view of the glittering lights that had been strung up in the park across the street for the holidays.

  He hummed to himself as he set down the bags in his kitchen and went to the hall closet to shed his layers.

  It was a one bedroom apartment, and his bedroom was fairly tiny at that, but his living room and kitchen area made up for it, and he'd filled the place with things to make him more comfortable.

  Glancing at his bedroom and the piles of clothes and things that he knew waited to be sorted and packed, he decided he had earned something of a break, so he sat down in his favorite chair and devoured his dinner, washing spicy noodles and shrimp down with a glass of wine and watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

  Nostalgia welled in him as he watched, though, because that had always been Jamie's favorite Christmas movie.

  "It's the only one that really shows how people are. Some people are mean and jealous and they don't want other people to have things that they don't have," she explained when Simon had asked her about it some fifteen years ago. "But look, the Whos have their Christmas without all the stuff, and the Grinch just wants to be included. It's like... maybe if we just stopped excluding people from things, they'd be less mean and petty. Everyone just wants a place, you know?"

  Simon chewed his last bite of food and sighed, running a hand through his hair. Out of everything from his hometown, Simon missed Jamie the most.

  After his first year of college, they'd sort of stopped speaking, and he was well aware that it was mostly his fault. She knew that his parents' divorce had been hard on him. He hadn't even known that they were unhappy with each other, but as soon as he'd gone off to school, the whole thing had exploded.

  Out of nowhere his mother had started accusing his father of having an affair with his secretary and lying about where he went.

  Simon's father had sworn up and down that she was wrong and he would never do that, and his mother had called him all the time to tell him what she thought his father was doing.

  It got so bad that Simon had blocked her number and gotten on with his life, ignoring them and their issues until his father had called and told him that they were getting a divorce.

  He still didn't know how to feel about it.

  Obviously it was for the best since his father was much happier now, but it had felt wrong to have his family broken up like that, and instead of trying to deal with it, he'd just cut himself off from them.

  Hadn't gone home in seven years, instead spending Christmas and Thanksgiving with his roommate's family.

  Even now that they weren't in school anymore, Simon still had a standing invitation to the Stannard family get together, but after spending Thanksgiving with them, he'd explained that he had to go home this year.

  No matter how much he wasn't looking forward to it.

  Instead of flying, he was going to make the drive. Because he would not be stuck there with no way to get around. His father had insisted that he stay for the whole two weeks he could get off, and though he'd wanted to argue, it seemed fair. Two weeks to make up for seven years.

  Most of it was his father needing help to pack up the house. Their old house was much too big for just him, and so he was going to move somewhere smaller, somewhere where there were fewer memories.

  Simon had suggested just selling the place, but for some reason his father seemed convinced that it would be a mistake.

  "What if you want to raise a family there one day?" he'd asked, and Simon had snorted in disbelief. The chances of that happening were slim to none, and the last thing he could see himself doing was moving back there and trying to make a family work in the place where his family had fallen apart.

  And anyway, wasn't the point of growing up supposed to be moving on and moving upwards?

  It was going to be hard enough going back for just two weeks. He definitely didn't think he'd ever be happy living there again.

  Deciding he'd put it off for long enough, Simon got up and made his way back to his bedroom and started folding clothes and finding everything he was going to need.

  Though he tried to focus on his task, he couldn't keep his mind from wandering. Mostly he was thinking about Jamie. He'd heard from his father that Jamie's mother wasn't doing so good and that she was still in town helping to take care of her. Simon knew that had to be hard for her. Her mother was all she had left, and the way his father made it sound, she probably wouldn't have her for that much longer.

  It made his heart ache to think of Jamie all alone, but. But she needed to get out of that town. There was nothing there for her, and he wondered if he could convince her to follow her dreams. He knew the things she wanted, and knowing Jamie, they were still the same. But she'd always had a fierce streak of loyalty. Simon knew she wouldn't leave while her mother was still alive, and there was nothing he'd be able to say to change that.

  That was, if she'd even speak to him at all. It wouldn't surprise him one bit if she refused to even be in the same room with him again after everything that had happened.

  He'd promised, that night when they said goodbye. He'd promised that nothing was going to change between them and then he'd broken that promise within a year.

  "She probably hates me," he mumbled under his breath. And he couldn't blame her if she did. He hadn't had the heart to ask his dad for more information about Jamie, so he didn't know what she was doing or if she was dating anyone or what, and he supposed it was none of his business now.

  Lord knew he'd had his share of...escapades since he'd moved here, though they had slowed down when his workload had increased. It had been a while since he'd even gone out with anyone, though if that one nurse got her way, his dry spell would be over.

&n
bsp; But he wasn't interested in her, really, and now that he had opened himself up to thinking about Jamie, he found he couldn't stop.

  Simon really couldn't decide what would be worse. Seeing her and not knowing what to say, or not seeing her and being forever regretful that he hadn't. Did they even have anything to say to each other anymore?Anything other than her cursing him out (deservedly) and him trying to defend himself all the while knowing he didn't really have a leg to stand on, that was.

  This was just too nerve wracking, and he sighed and plopped down on his bed, pushing everything onto the floor in a fit of childish anxiety.

  It was late, and he didn't have to leave before noon the next day if he didn't want to. Maybe now that he was full and had been drinking a little, it would be easier to sleep. He was definitely going to need to be well rested for this.

  Chapter 4: Unexpected Surprises

  Jamie held back a yawn and slid a plate of fries in front of a pair of highschoolers who were at table five making googly eyes at each other. She'd been eying them since they walked in, watching him lean across the table and touch her hair, watching her giggle and bat her eyes at him.

  She made a retching motion, miming sticking her finger down her throat as she walked back into the kitchen, and Sal laughed. "It's the holiday season, Jamie girl. Love is in the air."

  "Teenagers don't know anything about love," she said bitterly, slamming down the mug she was about to fill with coffee for a tired looking young man at table seven. "They know about infatuation and sex. Those two things are pretty much the opposite of love if you ask me."

  "Good thing no one did, then, huh, Ms. Scrooge?" Sal teased. "Nothing wrong with being young and a little naive. There'll be plenty of time for them to be cynical when they get older. For now, let them be."

  Normally that kind of thing didn't bother her, but she hadn't slept well the night before, wrapped up in worries and memories, and her mother had barely been responsive at all that morning. It had taken her over an hour to coax her out of bed, and then she'd only eaten the bare minimum, taken her medication and then gone back to bed. The afternoon nurse had promised that she'd keep an eye on her and call her if anything got worse, and Jamie had a knot of anxiety lodged in her stomach as she worked her shift.

  It didn't help that Sal was in such high spirits, singing along to the carols on the radio and screaming "Ho, ho, ho!" every hour on the hour.

  Usually it was the kind of thing that Jamie would have found wonderfully festive, but she couldn't shake her bad mood that afternoon.

  Christmas was so close, and there was still stuff she needed to do. Like do her shopping and finalize the order for Christmas dinner. At least that was one good thing about the night before.

  She'd found a restaurant that would cater their dinner if she picked everything up, and that was no problem at all. Now she just had to hope that her mother would be coherent enough to take part in the meager festivities.

  On the plus side, this was her last shift until after Christmas, so she had time to get everything done. And maybe to get some sleep because she certainly had failed at that the night before. Maybe by the time Christmas rolled around, she would be in better spirits.

  The teenagers were leaning across the table, kissing over their fries, and Jamie rolled her eyes.

  "Free show at table five," Kathryn said as she breezed in, unwrapping her scarf from around her neck and shaking snow out of her blonde hair. "'Tis the season, I suppose."

  "Don't say that too loud around Jamie, Kat," Sal warned. "She's in a bah humbug sort of mood."

  "Aww, poor thing," Kathryn said, leaning over to press a kiss to Jamie's cheek. She made a surprised noise all of a sudden, standing up straight and looking out the kitchen window. "Well. I can't tell if that's going to make your mood better or worse, dear, but it's certainly something worth seeing?"

  "What?" Jamie asked, turning to look as well.

  Her eyes went wide and her heart nearly pounded its way out of her chest.

  Because it couldn't be? Could it?

  After seven years, Simon Blake walking into The Pit like he owned the place, brushing snow off of his coat and looking around with a little smile on his face.

  "Well, I'll be," Sal said, using his inside voice for once. "Wonders never cease, apparently."

  "Apparently," Kathryn agreed. She prodded Jamie in the back lightly. "Are you going to to go say something to him?" she wanted to know. "Because unless you plan to hide back here until he leaves, he's going to see you."

  How was she supposed to reply to that? It was Simon. Standing there looking for a table and looking all... gorgeous and accomplished with his dumb little ponytail and his stupid pea coat and his glasses. Who did he even think he was showing up after seven years like he could just walk in and... and...

  "Uh-oh," Sal murmured. "He's sitting in your section, Jamie girl."

  And so he was. Sitting down at table six and leaning back, making himself comfortable and looking at he menu with that dumb little smile on his face.

  "I don't know that she's listening to you, Sal," Kathryn replied, and Jamie snapped out of her daze.

  "I'm listening. It's fine. I'm a professional. I don't care about him."

  She gathered up her drink tray before they could say anything else and made her way out of the kitchen, setting down refills for the horny teenagers at table five and giving table seven his coffee. She took her time taking his order and then let out a low breath, turning to walk over to the table Simon was sitting at.

  "Hi," she said, keeping her voice even and her tone polite. "Welcome to The Pit. I'm Jamie, and I'll be taking care of you this afternoon. What can I get you to drink?"

  To say that Simon looked startled would be an understatement. He looked blindsided, mouth open and eyes huge behind his stupid glasses. "Jamie?"

  "That's what I said," she replied, giving him a bland smile. "Coffee? Coke?"

  "What?"

  She swallowed hard and kept her smile in place. "What can I get you to drink?"

  "You work here?"

  "No, I just wear the apron and take orders for fun. On Wednesdays, I pretend to work at the gas station. Either you want to order something or you don't, but I suggest you make up your mind because I do have other customers to deal with here." Okay, so that wasn't polite, but staring at her wasn't doing anything but making this even more awkward than it already was, and she didn't have the patience for it.

  And really, she didn't know where he got off looking at her like he'd seen a ghost. Of course she was still here. This was her home. He was the one who had run away and not come back.

  "Sorry," Simon said, brow furrowed. "Uh... I think I've had enough coffee for the day so far. Can I get a lemonade, please?"

  "Coming right up."

  She didn't even bother to write it down, just walked away and banged back into the kitchen, leaning against the wall and closing her eyes.

  "You gonna be alright out there?" Sal asked.

  Jamie opened her eyes to glare at him. "Yes, Sal," she snapped. "I'm going to be fine. I'm going to do my job because I'm an adult."

  As if to prove it, she put table seven's order ticket on the spinner, and went to pour Simon's lemonade.

  It wasn't fair.

  That was the real issue.

  In the back of her mind, she'd been hoping that Simon had gotten fat or ugly or something in the time he'd been away, but no. There he was, still gorgeous and obviously successful. It made her feel almost embarrassed about the fact that she was still here. Stuck in this town and working at The Pit, even though she loved her job most of the time. It was just his tone, though. As if this was beneath him and beneath her. What else did he expect from her?

  But she didn't have time to dwell on it. Instead she threw herself back into her work, taking orders and passing out food, making only the bare minimum conversation with Simon.

  His order was still the same, too.

  Double cheeseburger, no mustard, extra pickl
es and a basket of onion rings. She'd heard him order that hundreds of times, and the only time she let their eyes meet was when she was delivering his plate to him, holding that familiar gaze for a few seconds and then turning away.

  When her ten minute break rolled around, she couldn't get out the door fast enough. She neglected to put on her coat, and shivered as she stood behind the diner, kicking piles of dirty snow and lighting a cigarette with shaking fingers.

  She'd never needed one like she did right then.

  What was he even doing here? Seven years he'd been gone, and now all of a sudden he decided that he needed to come back? And he'd seemed shocked to see her, like he hadn't had any intention of looking her up or trying to make contact with her at all.

  It hurt.

  Simon was supposed to be her best friend and now...

  Jamie shook her head and exhaled smoke, wiping angrily at her eyes.

  "That's a good way to get cancer, you know."

  She snapped her head around, hurt filling her brown eyes as she looked at Simon standing there. "I know that," she snapped.

  He winced. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking. How's Adelaide doing?"

  "You don't need to pretend like you actually care, Simon," Jamie said. "I already know you don't."

  "That's not true."

  She snorted. "Oh, please. If you think I want to hear anything you've got to say now, you're clearly out of your mind. Don't think you can just show up here unannounced and start worming your way back into my good graces. You lost that right when you stopped calling and replying to my texts."

  Simon sighed, looking at the ground. "I know I messed up, okay? I know. I just... It was harder than I expected it to be. And then all that stuff was going on with my parents, and I just..."

  Jamie frowned, confused. "All what stuff?"